"We're going to sink"

All this Shark talk made us curious, well actually made Derek curious, I could not have cared less about sharks. I had no interest in seeing those behemoth creatures by accident, so, why would I want to pay to see them on purpose. To me it was just stoking the fire, teasing the world’s scariest animal. After about 30 seconds of convincing, I agreed to go, but swore if I ever got eaten by a shark while surfing, it was all Derek’s fault. Nine hundred and ninety five rand later ($100) we were up at 5:30am to ride the Shark Shuttle 3 hours to “the sharki-est” point in Africa, coincidently named, Shark Alley. This shuttle was brand new, had cool shark decals on the side, and a “Governator” looking and sounding driver, equipped with a headset, and microphone, which kept us up the entire ride. Still, while it looked and was brand new, it was the most uncomfortable thing we had ever ridden in. The seats were so small and uncomfortable, I would have rather sat on the floor, and our dive guide/driver/most annoying man in the world at 5:30 in the morning, would not shut up!

After a quick briefing, we had signed our life away, and were warned not to stick any of our limbs out of the dive cage. Soon after, we loaded the boat, put on our wetsuits, and began chumming for sharks. This adventure did not begin or end exactly as I pictured it, in fact I would go as far as calling Planet Earth a liar. Planet Earth made shark diving, look exciting yet peaceful.  Instead we were anchored 20 kilometers in the middle of the baron sea, howling winds and swells in the 6 to 8 ft range. Needless to say, when I received my first chunk of someone else’s breakfast on my wetsuit shoulder; I knew we were in for a long three hours. Well actually only about 1 and a half because this “barf” if you will, most certainly had the domino effect leading to roughly 8 of the 16 passengers flooding the ocean with that mornings breakfast. Then to put the icing on the cake, their was Miss Canada, or so we called her. She was a 50 yr old, over weight, loud, Canadian lady, with breasts so gigantic, they were noticeably flopping with the rolling of the huge swells. As if that picture is not enough, she was hysterically crying, praying, and yelling she “was to young to die,” convinced that the boat was going to sink. In Derek’s opinion her falling overboard would have been doing the world a major favor. I agree.  Three minutes later, and only two shark sightings the captain called an end to the trip because of safety reasons. Soon after, we were back on shore. All in all it was a let down, but on the bright side, or at least looking back on now, it was pretty hilarious, and we did see two HUGE great whites. How many have you seen?